On her
bedroom wall, next to the door that led to the front porch, my paternal grandmother
kept a picture of one of her daughters. From an early age I knew she was my
Aunt Iccie Joan for whom my older sister, Iccie Jean, was named. My sister was
the third person in the family who carried this name. Aunt Iccie had died in
Africa, I was told. As family members told her story at different points of my childhood
and teens, she was a teacher or a missionary whose body was not returned to her
family for a “proper” burial when she died. Some relatives concluded something
horrendous had killed her – a lion or some other wild animal– and a couple of
other relatives opined that her body was eaten rather than buried, although
this last was not a popular opinion.
After my
grandmother died, the picture was moved to the living room wall in my Aunt Evetter’s
house, next door to where my grandmother had lived. Aunt Iccie had a
resemblance to Aunt Evetter but as my sister Iccie and I grew to adulthood, my
sister looked increasingly like the portrait of Aunt Iccie.
When I
returned “home” for my Aunt Evetter’s funeral, the only thing I requested from
her daughter was her Bible and Aunt Iccie’s picture. Both were in bad shape. In
her declining years, Aunt Evetter could not and others did not care for most of her house.
There was
bug and water damage to both Bible and portrait. In addition, the portrait had
pieces broken around the edges with the bottom edge torn off, and a rip running
down Aunt Iccie’s face. The frame was so damaged that when my cousin took it
from the wall it broke into pieces. I took only the glass to protect the
portrait from further damage as I flew home.
Through the years I thought about
repairing the portrait but the quotes I received were more than I could afford.
I put it on the top of one of the bookcases in the living room out of harm’s
way. Every few years as I recounted Aunt Iccie’s story I would take out the
damaged picture to illustrate the telling. But my faith in the family lore
suffered the same damage as the portrait – frayed at the edges, torn in pieces,
and ripped down the middle.
Then in
2018, amid immigration fears and demonization, someone in a closed Facebook
group posted a picture of four generations of men in his family along with a
heartwarming immigrant story. His many times great-grandfather immigrated alone
from a European country when he was not yet 20 years old. With no marketable
skills, he found a low-wage job and eventually married. Each generation moved
up the salary mountain until the Facebook poster’s father who was the fourth
generation and the first to attend college. A heartwarming American immigrant
story that many people responded to with similar stories of their own families.
I responded
that most of my ancestors were “unwilling immigrants” and many of the rest were
immigrants who owned them. I also expressed my ignorance of my Native American
heritage even though I knew there was some.
Rae
responded to my post by saying she could help me find that missing heritage. My
response was thankful but don’t bother because I knew it was untraceable. Rae was
insistent. She had access to African American databases and knew she could help
me if I would just provide her with a bit of info. I responded with a link to a
long post I had placed on Ancestry.com in response to a request for information
about African American family members with the last name Durr. And I gave Rae
access to send me a private message.
Not many
hours later, in a private message, Rae responded with a genealogy and supporting
documents. It gave me chills to see a 1920 United States Census listing the
names of my father and his siblings as children living with my grandparents.
The
other documents – phone book listings and draft registrations – were
interesting to see but everyone on that census list has died:
- Leffie and Vashtie Durr, my paternal grandparents
- Aunt Iccie, their oldest daughter who died before her parents did; my sister was said to resemble her
- Aunt Evetter, 3 years younger and the last on the list to die
- R.T., my father who would later name himself Rip Timothy, 2 years younger than Aunt Evette; he and Aunt Evette were the last two siblings left alive for most of my years
- Jezebelle, my Aunt Jezzi whom I never knew; she died before I was born but I was told I looked like her
- Uncle L.F., 4 years younger than my father; he was named for my grandfather Leffie which is why he is listed as “Jr” but my grandparents gave their sons intitials rather than names so they could name themselves when they were older; I knew my Uncle L.F. as Lafayette Durr and my cousin Sonny was his “Junior”; I was an adult when Uncle L.F. died.
- Aunt Rosie, spelled Rosey on this census report; I never knew she was the youngest child, 2 years younger than Uncle L.F.; she died when I was about 3; hers was the first funeral I’d ever attended and it was most memorable because it was the first time I saw my father cry deep sobs of sorrow.
The one document that made tears stream down my face was my Aunt Iccie’s death certificate. She had died in Africa, Liberia
specifically, just as the family story said. But she died in childbirth. Her
body was claimed by her husband and buried in Liberia because of “local
custom.” They would not have had the ability to preserve a body long enough to
ship it all the way back to Mississippi. Aunt Iccie, indeed, had been a
teacher and a missionary at a Baptist school in Clay Ashland, Liberia.
Aunt Iccie
now lives in my memory as more than a story that was hard to believe but a real
person who died in a place that actually exists, in a way that makes sense yet
still gives credence to those old family stories. I mourn and honor her.
After tears
were shed and dried, after I had restored Aunt Iccie from family lore and
incredulity to a flesh and blood relative in family history, I started looking
for a way to restore Aunt Iccie’s portrait. After a little research, I went to
Thumbtack, one of those sites that help you find “skilled pros” to do jobs. I
chose Mariya Anderson, the first one to
respond. First, she seemed to really care about doing well with my portrait.
Also, I liked the examples of her work she had posted on her website. Finally,
she promised a two-week completion date and the price was right!
I packed Aunt Iccie’s portrait along
with the curved glass in about a ton of bubble wrap and sent her off with a
prayer.
I plan to
search for frames and will gift my nephew with one along with this story. Aunt Iccie, with his mother's face, has been restored.
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ReplyDeleteMy two oldest daughters went to Piney Woods for a few years when we were first in Simpson County. I remember feeling very emotional the first time I found a census record for my grandmother's father, Howard Turner in Lowndes County. He was a young man in the 1870 census and for the first time I found out his parents and siblings names. Even more so was finding mention of my enslaved ancestors in bills of sale and wills.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found your aunt and her story. It seems right that she was buried where her family was. I guess the baby died too? Or do you have Liberian cousins?